I interrupt the regularly scheduled writing on the character traits of happy people to bring you this newsflash: Not everyone has to agree with you.
In fact, many people probably won’t. And that’s fine. Don’t take it personally. More importantly, don’t take their judgments as fact. YMMV = Your Mileage May Vary.
Barista at Starbucks was snarky to you? It’s probably not about you. Don’t let it ruin your day.
Other mothers giving you the stinkeye because you’re on your iPhone answering work e-mails while at the playground? Shrug.
Now, I’m saying this to myself as much as I am to you. I, too, want people to approve of me. I also like it when someone else tells me they think I’m a good mom. I, too, take exception when someone puts down something/music/movie/WHATEVER I love.
But that’s not doing me any good. It’s not doing you any good, either.
The initial reaction is normal. But you don’t have to get attached to it. You can think, “OK, but do I really care what they think? Am I going to let it determine my behavior? Do I really think I’m doing something wrong here?”
If the answer is no, LET IT GO. No more energy should go to it. Don’t take it personally. My favorite of the Four Agreements is “Don’t take anything personally.” Remember, YMMV.
The happiest people in my office (yes, happy people come see me, too) are the ones who are OK with their friends and co-workers being different, having different opinions, lifestyles, and paces.
They don’t feel their friends need to change to suit them, and more importantly, they don’t feel they need to change to suit their friends. To each his own, and all that.
It’s a really important ability to cultivate. I think it’s one of the most important.
Another great post! 🙂
Colleen, this is such a hugely important thing to internalize. We are all allowed to live the live we need to live (as long as that doesn’t include harm to others), and when we can accept that we don’t need permission to do so, life gets way better. When we communicate our hopes and needs clearly to others, life gets better yet!
Hi Colleen–lovely site you have here.
I appreciate your post because it communicates the importance of letting go of the idea that people care enough about you and your habits to give a rat’s ass.
Yes–the happiest people on the planet are able to differentiate and accept that which they don’t necessarily abide by, support or agree with.
Hehe! on the guinea pig image 🙂
This is a great reminder, Colleen. This is one of those things I *know* but also forget on a regular basis.