There is still such a stigma about having mental health issues that many people hide the fact that they are taking antidepressants. Chances are good that one of your friends right now is taking them and you don’t know about it.
Why all the mystery? Because people have a habit of thinking they know more than Ph.Ds and MDs in the field, and can get very judgmental about an individual’s choice to take medication to help alleviate the pain of depression.
Although the following comments usually come out of genuine concern, if your friend or family member trusts you enough to let you know they’ve made that decision, here are some reactions to avoid:
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
I can guarantee you they’ve thought about it longer and harder than you have in the 10 seconds since they told you. No one WANTS to start taking antidepressants, but sometimes it’s the only way to jog the brain chemicals so they start working the way they’re supposed to.
“I don’t believe in that stuff.”
OK, then don’t take them. Maybe you don’t need them. But your friend has gotten to the end of their rope, and is ready to try them. The last thing they need is for you to be judgmental.
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get addicted?”
The answer’s probably yes to this one, but there comes a time when the idea of being depressed forever is more terrifying. Besides, antidepressants aren’t addictive in the way narcotics are. Some people do need them for the rest of their lives, though, just like a diabetic might need insulin for the rest of their life.
“Is it going to change your personality?”
Antidepressants don’t change your personality. When they work, they lift the mood enough that people can function again. They give people hope again. They give people enough energy to start working on their lives.
“Have you tried SAM-E/essential oils/random-chinese-herb?”
Now is not the time to play Naturopath with your friend. Unless they live under a rock, they are aware that there are natural “alternatives” touted for their mood-lifting qualities. I have heard anecdotal evidence that some people are helped quite a bit through these alternatives, and that’s great – let’s keep doing research on them and make sure they’re safe and effective. But the fact remains, psychotropic medications have been researched and tested far more rigorously than the herbs you get off your drug store shelf. Whatever you think about Big Pharm and western medicine, keep these opinions to yourself right now.
Basically, don’t make them defend their decision. Unless they ask you specifically what your opinion is on psychotropic medication, they’re telling you something that has been a big decision for them, and that you’re important enough in their life to tell.
What TO say when your friend tells you they’re on antidepressants:
“I’m sorry things have been so tough. How are you feeling?”
Then, listen if they want to talk. That’s all you have to do.