Month: April 2013

Right now I have a Spotify station called “Study Music” playing. When I’m mopping the floor, I like Erasure (yes, I did come of age in the 80’s). I’ve taught my boys all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody, including the Wayne-and-Garth compulsory head banging at the intro to the rock section. I play music whenever I can, although I do appreciate silence more since I had kids, so that’s OK too. Mostly, though, music. 

Music is so important to me that I had a 90-minute cassette tape filled with possible wedding songs before I even met my husband. I didn’t care so much about the colors, the dress, etc., but I had the music already chosen. I also don’t particularly care what kind of funeral people plan for me, if any, after I pass – but just in case there’s music, I have it already picked out. (I don’t trust anyone else to really pick the music that reflects me…maybe a bit of a control issue there? Really, I’m just afraid someone’s going to pick “Wind Beneath My Wings” and I’m going to have to come back and haunt them. I’d rather have “Do You Realize,” by the Flaming Lips).

Intuitively, we know music is important. It’s important both culturally and personally. There’s a whole discipline in psychotherapy devoted to music therapy. There are some concrete ways music can help us heal:

1. Reducing blood pressure

Dr. Mark Miller at University of Maryland has been researching the effects of music on physiological responses. He’s found that listening to music that pleases us actually relaxes and opens blood vessels.  Listening to music that makes you anxious constricts the blood vessels. Interestingly, the participants chose their own music based on what brought them joy, not on what researchers decided was joyful or “happy” music. Meditative music increased dilation by about 11%, while joyful music increased it by 26%.

Also interesting, researchers are working on using specific kinds of music to help retrain injured brains.

2. Building Community

Social outlets, chances for connections with others, are so important. But not everyone is up for a mixer where you stand around and chat. A wonderful way to gain that connection is to either play or sing with others. JoAnn Jordin, a Music Therapist, talks about the different ways music can build community.

There’s a crazy number of choirs listed on Choral.net if you’re looking for one near you.

Many organizations have programs for parents and kids (usually preschoolers) to enjoy music together. One of my favorites to do with my boys was Music Together.

3. Increase Dopamine

Dopamine is a chemical in the brain, and it’s involved in the reward and pleasure feedback loops, so it’s heavily involved in pleasure and motivation. Lots of things increase dopamine: Beer, sex, chocolate and music.

10 Songs that Will Get You High

I haven’t looked at the original research, but Dr. Joel Robertson lists types of music that he says will boost other brain chemicals, like serotonin: Music to Balance Your Brain

4. Getting Your Heart Rate Up

Anyone who’s done cardiovascular exercise to music knows that what you listen to through your earbuds can make or break a workout. Enjoying the music as well as the rate (BPM) of the music has a huge effect on how hard you work. I have some bookmarked sites to find music that helped me find music that corresponded with the speed I wanted to run:

Rock My Run

Jog.FM

Motion Traxx: has a good app for downloading the right beat and length of a run

5. Honoring Others and Grieving

From Music Therapist Rachelle Norman: “Soloist Fred Knittle performs “Fix You” just a short time after the death of his friend Bob Salvini, the man who was supposed to sing it with him as a duet.”

The musical group is known as The Young at Heart Chorus.

When a very close friend of mine passed away suddenly, her husband lent me her iPod, so I could see her playlists. I copied the playlists* and when I’m missing her, I listen to them. I think of those songs as “Lisa’s music,” and it helps me feel her presence. A love of music was one of the things we shared, and her songs are one of the many gifts she gave me.

 *not the actual recordings, RIAA, calm down

 

Related articles

• Music therapy strikes a chord
• Music is like a Drug.
• Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star: How singing to babies makes them healthier

Positive Psychology isn’t all about staying cheery and happy. In fact, positive psychology is rooted in trauma research.

Psychologists started wondering why some victims of trauma ended up with severed PTSD and others, who had gone through the exact same experiences, seemed to bounce back more quickly.

This quality, resiliency, is the foundation of the positive psychology field. What creates it? Can it be developed or strengthened?

We’ve been through a lot this past week. We’re still going through it. Boston, background checks, Texas, Watertown. Positive psychology doesn’t deny that sh*t happens. But the research is figuring out how to help us not get destroyed by it.

The magic of the internet has brought us a lot of hope and tips on how to keep this continued trauma from ruining our lives.

Hard-Wired to Bounce Back

Written by a social worker who specializes in resiliency, this is a good summary of the research, with practical suggestions for strengthening characteristics that increase resiliency.

Helping Children Through: Several Links

I imagined what I would do if I was in Watertown this morning, keeping my kids inside…what would I tell them? How do you balance honesty, teaching common sense caution, while not terrifying your children?

Robyn Gobbel, MSW, works with families and children who have been traumatized. Here are her suggestions for helping children cope.

Talking to Children About Disasters: From the American Psychiatric Associatio

Tips for Resilience in the Face of Horror

Fred Rogers Company: At the bottom of this page, there are some good tips for parents. I especially like the one about letting your kids know if you’re donating or providing a service in response to the trauma, and letting them be a part of it.

Coping with Traumatic Stress

I have a background in crisis management, and was trained as a Critical Incident Stress Debriefer. The primary thing was to get people to talk about their experience. We need to talk about it, and be heard. We need to talk about it more than once, usually. Find people to talk to, people who will hear you.

Emotional Recovery After a Disaster

Stephen Joseph, Ph.D., has written a book, “What Doesn’t Kill Us: The New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth.” He goes over research on people who have become stronger, who have found new meaning after trauma:

Is it trauma or is it a negative attitude towards expression of emotion that causes PTSD? 

Collection of links on posttraumatic growth, including some TED talks and interviews. 

Staying Hopeful

I remember, after 9/11, reading the famous quote by Fred Rogers: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”

Bottom line: Most people are good and want to help. Most of this world is still beautiful. We have each other. Most of us are trying to raise our children to make this a better world. There is ALWAYS hope. And no hateful people, no bombers, no extremists are going to take that away from us.

(P.S. – I don’t have the original source for the graphic above. If anyone knows where it origina

 

 

 

 

Related articles

• Resilience after trauma
• Turning Things Around: Growth in the Face of Trauma
• The Family Story of Trauma: Ways to Heal the Legacy

I believe mindfulness is really at the heart of all healing. The ability to observe without judgement just makes everything so much easier. 

My first experience with mindfulness was the opening paragraph of a book where a woman plunges into cold water, voluntarily, for a morning swim. When I first walk into cold water, it’s usually a lake where my sons are begging me to come in, my muscles are clenched, my face is already twisted up and my first reaction is usually “Oh My GOD THIS IS COLD.” It’s unpleasant, to say the least, until I get used to it, and might even involve some under-the-breath swearing.

But in this story, the woman reminds herself that the feeling of the cold water on her skin is just a sensation, not inherently good or bad, and encourages herself to notice the tingling but not to judge it as pleasant or unpleasant.

That idea was completely eye-opening to me. Seriously? You can do that? I started trying it out with other sensations, like music I thought I didn’t like, food I’d already rejected, and especially emotions. I still gasp when I enter a cold pool or lake, but it’s really not as bad as I used to make it.

This all happened in conjunction with a gifted supervisor telling me that my job was to convince clients to be curious about their inner life before judging and trying to change it. The idea that I could describe my emotions without shame and without judgement was a new one, and it has influenced both my life and my professional work forever.

It wasn’t until several years later that I realized all this fits under the umbrella of mindfulness.

Now, I don’t practice mindfulness meditation that often, to be honest. I do practice its teachings daily. Even if you’re convinced you can’t sit still for 15 minutes, here are some on-line resources to help you integrate some mindfulness into your life:

 

Mindfulness Therapy for Phobias

Dr. Peter Strong describes how a structured mindfulness meditation therapy can work on a phobia of spiders. But you can take some of these ideas and apply them to whatever specific thing you’ve attached your anxiety to, whether it’s flying, elevators or snakes.

 

Mindful Eating

I also firmly believe that mindful eating is the way out of disordered eating. This New York Times article describes the path of mindful eating.

It reminds me of the Zen story of the master and student sharing an orange, The student pops a segment in his mouth and reaches for another. The master says, in effect, “Hey, buddy, you haven’t finished the one in your mouth yet. Why are you already going for the next one?” By reaching for the next bite, the student’s not fully experiencing the part he’s eating.

One of my favorite blogs, Zenhabits, also has a quick run-down on how to incorporate mindful eating into your meal. 

 

Mindful Walking

Taking a mindful walk is a really quick way to ground yourself in the here and now. Dr. Salters-Pedneault has written, in About.com’s mental health section, an accessible guide to taking a mindful walk that you can do as soon as you get up from the computer.

 

Mindful Breathing

“I do deep breathing, it doesn’t work,” I hear over and over in my office. Most people have learned to take big breaths to relax, but that’s not really the point of mindful breathing. Yes, breathing into the belly rather than the chest is more relaxing. But it doesn’t stop there. The point of mindful breathing is to pay attention. Pay attention to the breath as it enters your body, and as it leaves. That’s it. Notice the thoughts that come and go, but let them float away and return your attention to the breath. By doing that, we’re honoring the here and now, what’s in this moment, rather than all the fantasy lands our minds want to take us to. And gradually, we get more control over that part of our brain that sometimes feels so out of control.

The above link gives you a good start. If you want a little more variety, try these three exercises from Dr. Andrew Weil.

 

So there you have breathing, eating and walking: Three things you do every day (hopefully). Start simple, and in my experience, mindfulness grows like potted bamboo – easy to grow, easy to take care of, but not taking over everything in your life. Instead, it helps you focus on those things you actually want to focus on. 

Howdy all! Happy Friday!

I’m taking a break from regular blog posting while my boys are on Spring Break. But today’s Full-Color Friday topic is one of my favorites: Positive Psychology, so I don’t want to miss it.

 

 Martin Seligman & Authentic Happiness

 

Martin Seligman, a leader in the field, has lots of resources on his website. Try out some of the questionnaires. I haven’t filled out all of them, and once I do I’ll be back with the ones I think are most helpful. But it’s a good way to start thinking about how to strengthen some of the characteristics associated with happiness.

 

Also: A TED talk I’ve enjoyed by Seligman

 

 

 The Greater Good Institute

 

Out of U.C. Berkeley (Go Bears!) comes a great website full of resources, articles and newsletters. I especially like the  Raising Happiness section by Christine Carter, author of the book by the same name. Sign up for their newsletter for a dose of good news in your in-box.

 

 

 

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi & Flow

 

Csikszentmihalyi, who’s kind of a big deal, introduced us to the idea of “Flow,” or getting so involved with something that time seems to stop. He believes that seeking Flow experiences is what gives meaning to our life, and also helps us cope with trauma and the inherent pain that life brings. Here’s a TED talk where he discusses how he got interested in resiliency, creativity and flow.

 

 

Psychology Today’s Roundup

 

As Positive Psychology gets more popular, that bastion of pop psychology, Psychology Today, has posted quite a few articles about it. As much as we therapists bash Psychology Today for not being academic enough, it really does summarize some key concepts pretty well. And, they have a pretty good directory for finding therapists in  your area.

I’ll be writing more about positive psychology research and how to use it practically. It’s one of my favorite subjects, and I definitely get into the “flow” while talking about it.

Here in northern California, the clouds are breaking up, so I’m going to go out and enjoy the sunshine!

 

 

Related articles

 

 

 

• 5 myths of positive psychology
• Positive Psychology.
• A New Website Designed for Employee Happiness, Zone Positive, is Now in Operation to Promote Flourishing and Productivity in the Workplace
• 10 Ways to the Art of Positive Psychology